Something good to eat after a hundred pushups:

Protatoes!

"Psssst, let's raise interest rates."

Another whispertician:

A heck of an authoritative whisper:

Who's he looking at anyways? And who's he gonna karate chop?

Not such gurnisht: Identify a stroke.

From an email I got:

Blood Clots/Stroke - They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue


I will continue to forward this every time it comes around!

STROKE: Remember the 1st Three Letters....S.T.R.


STROKE IDENTIFICATION

It only takes a minute to read this...

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE

Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE.
T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)
(i.e. It is sunny out today.)
R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke -------- Stick out Your Tongue

NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue.. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other,that is also an indication of a stroke.

Mickey Mouse as blackmailing chainsaw-wielding studio executive

South Park - Season 13: The Ring - full episode.
You can now watch full episodes of SP at http://www.southparkstudios.com. Sweeeeeeet.

When Greg Giraldo makes fun of Gary Busey:

Laughter ensues. At least by me. I like loud, obnoxious, vulgar comedians. Sometimes.
This is from the roast of Larry the cable guy on comedy central.

Roast of Larry the Cable GuyTuesday 2:30am / 1:30c

Greg Giraldo - When Busey Speaks

Larry the Cable Guy
Roast

Greg Giraldo
Maureen McCormick

You're teeth look like a row of urinals! Every time you open your mouth I feel like pissing in it!

Oh yeh, I'm there....NOT.

This is one of things that makes facebook interesting: I can see how people whom I'd probably avoid in real life are planning to spend holidays, birthdays and full moon festivals. I guess it sharpens my sense of who I am and what I envision as pleasurable. For instance:



No way would I go to that. Unless my other option was to move to the Bekaa valley until the olive harvest season. Not that I have any Purim plans - in fact I barely have any LIFE plans - but unless I got asked to escort the front-woman of the pussycat dolls there, I'd rather be at home smoked out drinking beer listening to bebop and mozart and watching nba highlights online.